GRADUATION

You know that feeling you get when you've worked really hard for something and you finally get it.....that's not how I'm feeling right now. I feel absolute heartbroken over my disbelief that God would get me to this point. It's been 9 years. Over the last 9 years I have felt so disheartened over my efforts to complete my Masters degree. I let pride hinder me because I couldn't face failing. I wanted to give up so many times, but there was a presence urging me on. I hated that presence because it wouldn't let me stop. I hit wall after wall and yet the presence urged me on. Why???? I realize that the presence of God, His Holy Spirit, will not be stopped in the lives of those who belong to Him. Why was it so important to Him for me to continue? I cried, screamed, ached, and down-right got angry many times over the past 9 years. What was the point? Couldn't He see that I was "too through" trying and not succeeding. I realize that my God wanted me to experience Him in a new way. He showed me that He is my father indeed!
What do you do when you are at your end?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when the situation is beyond your control?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when you have exhausted all of your tricks and go-to people and not one of them can offer you anything?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when what you say you believe and what you practice come head to head?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when you cry daily because you feel like life has become that dream you have of falling, falling, falling, falling, and any minute you know that you will land and crush every bone in your body....that the pain will be beyond what you can bear?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when He brings you to the end of your sufficiency so that you can see that He is all the sufficiency you need?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when you realize that the problems you've had is because you believe that you know you better than God?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when all that you value changes and you realize that what you fear is really being out of control?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when He shows you that He loves you, won't ever leave you, and will patiently wait until you are ready?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"
What do you do when what was important no longer seems important anymore?
"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"

Bow down and worship Him, He who knows all that you are better than you ever can.
Why do I insist on assuming that I know me better than Him? We know that other people don't always get us. We know that we show what we want to show to others. But do we realize that we are also putting on a show for ourselves? I am not as good as I think or as bad as I think. What I think about me is irrelevant. I'm concerned with what God thinks. After all He has searched me and knows me. When I sit and when I rise. He perceives my thoughts from afar.....Where can I go from His Spirit? Where can I flee from His presence? ....He created my innermost being; He knit me together in my mother's womb. ...All the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to be.....How precious are His thoughts...How vast the sum of them! What does it matter what I think? I only know what I have been. How precious are His thoughts because He knows how I started, why I was created, what I have been, what I am becoming, and the capacity in which I am able to do the things He has assigned for me. He is continually building individual capacity. What He desires for me to do, He has equipped and is equipping me for those tasks.

What do you do when you realize He is everything?

"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD"

Psalm 46:10 encourages us to reflect on what God can do in the face of what we are unable to do.
REMEMBER THAT “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore I will not fear, though the earth do change” (Psalm 46:1-2a). Hallelujah!

Congratulations to me for bowing to my knees and giving up so that He could give me a greater capacity to do His will. Thanks Jesus, I love you.